I saw this song in a library book about 15-20 years ago. Now that Mike Pearce says the name Alex Comfort, I remember that he wrote the words.

I was sitting by the telly on me own the other night
when I heard somebody banging in the hall.
A silly little man that had brought in off his van
a boiler twice as wide as he was tall.
I said, 'It's for the neighbor, chum. It isn't mine, it's his.'
'Well, I rang his bell and he ain't in, so what'll I do with this?"

"You can stuff it in the bin behind the door" I said
"You can keep it where the lodger keeps his bike.
if you really want to know where I think it ought to go,
I can tell you where to put it if you like."

There was another verse where his auntie went to the fair and came back with 'a dirty great rhinoceros head a-mounted on a board."
Some lyric lines feel great in your moutn, and 'dirty great rhinoceros head' is one of them.