I say that if you can't stay on topic you should be flogged, keelhauled, tarred and feathered, and forced to drink hemlock. Which reminds me, where have all the really good milkshakes gone? Used to be that they were made with real milk and real ice cream and were nice and thick, like the slush we used to make slushballs from. I made one of those one time and smacked my brother in the back of the neck so that all of the slush ran down into his collar. It was one of those collars that had a button in the back as well as on the points in the front. I think they were called "Ivy League collars" or something. Like they were invented at Harvard or Yale or someplace like that. You know, one of the colleges that never have a good football team anymore? American football, of course, but I sure they also have soccer. And probably rugby and lacrosse and field hockey and Gaelic football, for all I know. I didn't go to one of those hoity-toity schools; couldn't afford it. And I got a good education anyway. Just goes to show that you don't have to attend Cambridge to be invited to speak there. It's all in what you do, not what you did. My grandma used to say that and it's true. She also used to say a lot of other neat things. My mom used to say, "People in hell want ice water." She'd say that when we'd whine about wanting something and we couldn't afford it. We never had much money but we were all happy. Not like today, when if a kid has to wee as soon as school's out. Back in my day we went outside and played until we were called for supper. After supper we did homework. Memorized poems and famous speeches, did arithmetic problems, memorized historical dates like 1066 and 1775, read books. We didn't have a television until I was nine years old. All the other kids would be talking about the TV shows, but we were reading and growing mentally while they were stunting their intellectual growth by watching Liberace or the McCarthy-Army hearings. Not us, no sirree! We were developing mental discipline, like the sort that I think we should all show by staying on topic in threads.