Eureka! I've got it! I've figured out how to stay on topic in this thread!

Since this thread has no topic, it would seem to be impossible to stay on topic. But if you read the thread title closely, it says "Staying on topic in threads". It doesn't say anything about staying on topic in this thread. And since this thread has no topic, the only way to stay on topic is to post something that is on topic in some other thread!

So, here's a post:

"Hey! Space case! Wake up! Don't just sit there staring into space! Pass that damned thing this way!"

(On topic in the "Bong Hits for Obama" thread.)