to all those people who gave my muse a kick up the a** and dragged her, kicking and screaming ,from the corner where she was sitting in a sulk with her thumb in her mouth. I come from the school of parody writing that believes a parody should be as close to the original as possible so I apologise where I haven't used your suggestions....it isn't that they weren't good but that they weren't close enough to the original and for those who are still interested, here is the finished version.

( loosely based on Fathom the Bowl)

From France we do get Brandy
From Jamaica comes Rum
They go down quite easy, then up they do come
With stout, ale and cider
I'm out of control
Pass me the tequila, I'll cradle the bowl

My father, he do lie in the depths of the pub
With his head t'wards the door
And his feet to the hub
His friends gather round him
Both loyal and true
And haul him by the armpits, and feet, to the loo

My wife she do greet me, as I gets to the door
And her gurt rolling pin sends me straight to the floor
As I gets up, quite slowly
Clearing my head of fog
She says, smiling so sweetly, "You can sleep with the dog!"