A friend just offered me a hymnal that contains (he says) a shaped-note edition of "The Royal Telephone", the hymn (using the term very loosely) that starts "Central's never 'busy', always on the line" and that has the refrain beginning "Telephone to glory, O what joy divine!" In discussing this with my wife, the topic shifted across "Turn your radio on!" and came to rest on "There are no flies on Jesus". Unfortunately I don't know the lyrics to the latter, and a Google search only turned up a couple of lines. Could anybody find and post the whole thing, and maybe some indication of the tune. In a thread from 2000 about my "Salvation Army Song", i.e. "I was lyin' in the gutter, all covered up with beer" aka "Put a nickel on the drum, save another drunken bum" I said that I thought "There are no flies on Jesus" was sung to "Webb" aka "Morning Light" aka "Stand up for Jesus", but on further consideration I don't think that is the tune. Not that I have any idea what is the tune... This would make a nice Valentine...

Haruo