Guest MacDuff, I suggest you reread your own post

In the second sentence in my post, I made it clear that my daughter wants to learn another instrument.

"She is quite musical, with good rhythm (a champion Irish dancer) and wants to learn another instrument."

I agree you said that but you did not say

Her three cousins play fiddle, so fiddle/violin is first choice.

What you did say was

... My partner is American (we live in California) and wants our child to learn violin. I want her to learn fiddle.

From which it is perfectly possible to make the inference the choice of violin/fiddle was yours and your partners not hers. As a parent (of grown up daughters) myself I was simply sounding a warning.

I would really rather have PM'd you on this, but as you are posting as a guest I cannot.