I've always felt that the internet was a great equalizer - if people wish it to be. An online identity CAN be whatever you wish it to be. There is no great truth online. There is no reason that an online name needs to represent the heritage, sex, religion, politics or even the real personality of the individual. If a person uses a handle such as "ABC" or similar, how would anyone know and why would it matter? If the poster chooses to share portions of their real identity, that becomes their choice and they become responsible for their own emotions and whatever issues it may bring.

Perhaps the answer can only come from the poster. If you choose to identify yourself, then the feelings and experiences that come from that cannot be ascertained by anyone else. Only you can answer why it is difficult, since everyone chooses their own identity online.