Institutional racism/sexism/etc-ism is diabolical. I grew up poor. Missed more than a few meals as a kid, despite the best efforts of my family to keep us fed and clean. I hated going to school because I had patches in my school pants and no one else did. The cash just wasn't there in those days to go buy another pair, so ya made do. I was teased about it and platitudinal remarks from teachers and other well-meaning folks just did nothing to change the way I felt back then--maybe that's where my 'fu#k you' attitude came from. That aside and to the point, because IMO the two issues do go together for the purpose of this post, I had gone to take a pee and a fellow was already in the can. (This was in Grade 4 or so.) We finished our business and lo, there upon the tiled floor was $.25. THAT was a small fortune in those days. We didn't know what to do about it so I said, "Eeny, meeny, miney mo, catch a nig" and stopped there, because the look of pain I saw on his face was one I knew I'd felt on my own face more than a few times. You see, "Allan" was Black. Over the years he and I came to be able to talk about it, but it was that day I found out lots about language, thoughtlessness and the power of words. "Allan" and I later played football on the same team, and we came to enjoy each other's company off the field, but that was always there in the background.

There are many things we can control, and to the extent we can we should. Institutional stuff can be changed, too, but not unless we actively effect that change. We can do that by NOT tolerating it AT ALL in our lives, places of work, places of business, places of play.