FRANKLIN. Stanley Accrington 1993

'Twas homeward bound one night on the deep
Swinging in my hammock I fell asleep
Dream쳌fs a dream, and I thought it true
Concerning Franklin and his gallant crew

From Baffin Bay where the whale fishes play
Across the frozen ocean in the month of May
To seek a North west passage his course was fixed
That's the North West of Canada and not up the M6

The sponsors of the expedition had limited means
The only food they gave to Franklin was cans of beans
Even the Eskimo in his skin canoe
Had not only baked beans but frozen fish fingers too

With all those beans the winds began to blow
The fate of Franklin no man doth know
The fate of Franklin no man can tell
All that was left of him was a funny smell

Now in those days cans were made out of lead
They should have been made out of aluminium instead
The crew grew sick and wished they'd never started
And as for Franklin ....... he simply departed

But now my story it gives me pain
I'll not be able to listen to that song again
Without thinking of that blunder alimentary
Which I heard about in a BBC2 documentary

I was down at a folk club where the admission's cheap
Someone sang Lord Franklin and I fell asleep
Dream쳌fs £10000 was freely given
By Lady Franklin, who'd not seen the television

But I don't think that Lord Franklin died from the effects of lead
I think that the baked beans did for him instead
I think he exploded in the thin arctic air
And punched a great big hole in the ozone layer