For instance...

"Och, lassie, an auld pudden' faced nyaff like yersel wid gie the back end o' a Heilan' flitting a run fur it's bawbee. Ah widnae rax fornense ye we ma een open fur a haundfu' o' gowd sovereigns.
Ye'd gar Auld Nick himsel tae grue an' tae greet."

Frikkin' inCREDible! I cannae fathom how a people sae gifted in invective as yon Scots did not succeed in conquering the entire worrrld!