Hey, Skivee...remember how I said that if it were in Kennedy it would be cleaned up? I must have vaguely remembered this, because it IS in Kennedy, on page 108, song number 45, Irish title An Seanduine Doighte.   The English lyrics aren't THAT rude, but they're somewhat rude. Contains the lines:

I sent my old man to the west of the country
Where there are whores one thousand and twenty
His genitals lessened and his jaws became bony
and he came back to me as a newly-born pony.

That should be useable, if we replace "genitals" with something less, er, geniteel, and "jaws" with something more likely to become bony through withering away...such as his arse.

I can tell our mutual friend tomorrow, she has access to the book at home AND at work.