Well, let's see:

I have both brown and gray felt hats.

I have both a six-foot and a ten-foot bullwhip.

I have a .38 revolver.

I am proficient in several languages, including fluency in both profane and obscene.

I have an extensive academic background.

I have lived in Indiana and have even taken classes at the University of Indiana at Bloomington.

I do not, however, have the last name of "Jones".

I suppose that this makes me "Indiana X."