Thanks Wesley. My family and many friends are fed up and don't want to hear about my son. I am grateful for a place to talk and an ear to listen. I wish I could give up hope but it just isn't happening. This isn't a whining or pity fest. My life is very good and very happy. Hopefully, some day my son's will be too. I can't afford to lose sight of the last 20 years. It is bitterly hard but I have to put my happiness and safety before his. There are goals he has to achieve before I can allow him back into my home. Meantime, he knows that I am only a phone call away. And call he does when life gets too tough for him or he needs cash. I don't give him money ( I know where it goes) and he knows that but he still asks.
For anyone in a similar situation - if you don't laugh, you cry. So find the humor in it...even if it is black humor.
M