Here is a version from the Australian LP Ribald Classics Vol. 4: Bang Away Lu Lu


Trip to Heaven

She was a village maiden with red and rosy cheeks,
She went to church and Sunday School and prayed in accents meek,
He was the Reverend minister who loved to watch her face,
So full of true devotion, so beautiful with grace.

And as he sauntered home with her when service it was o'er,
He often spoke of Heaven and of that Golden Shore.
Up spoke the village maiden, "Oh Father Dear", she cried she,
"The world I'd give, if I but once, that Golden Shore could see."

"Then come into my parlor when the lights are burning low,
"And we will say a prayer or two, and heavenward we'll go."
She entered by the Vicarage gate, right on the stroke of nine,
"Good evening", said the Minister, "I see you are on time".

"Before we take this journey, we must ourselves prepare,
"For you know, my little darling, they wear no garments there."
The maiden blushed a little, then she threw her clothes aside,
For she knew that she had naught to fear with the Vicar by her side.

    They were only playing leapfrog
    They were only playing leapfrog
    They were only playing leapfrog
    And they slipped between the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

"Oh tell me, Reverend Father, what is that great big thing,
"That's hanging there between your legs, so long, so smooth, so thin."
"That is the key to Heaven, dear, between your legs the lock,
"It has the works and motion, just like an eight day clock."

Six times they went to Heaven before that night was o'er,
And every time he tried to stop, the maiden asked for more.
And early in the morning, he bowed his head in shame,
"My God! What a calamity I've brought upon your name."

    They were only playing leapfrog
    They were only playing leapfrog
    They were only playing leapfrog
    And they slipped between the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

"You damned old fool, you're thick as mud, and very soon shall see
"You've gone and got yourself a dose that your son gave to me.
"And let this be a warning, you silly bloody fool,
"The girls are not all virgins who attend your Sunday School."

"And now, my poor old parson, you've gone and had your fun,
"You've gone and got a dose from John, your loving son,
"And when your prick's in bandages, go to your wife and tell,
"That you took a trip to Heaven, Sir, and ended up in Hell."

    They were only playing leapfrog
    They were only playing leapfrog
    They were only playing leapfrog
    And they slipped between the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.