My Grandma taught me this song when i was a little boy and i used to sit on the toilet singing it to myself. Not knowing my mum was listening to me. Now i have my own daughter, my mum keeps saying i need to teach it to my daughter to pass it on to the next generation. Here is the version my Grandma taught me, the only thing you can't compare on here is the actual tune everyone sings to it, but here are my lyrics.

Mary Ellen at the church turned up,
her ma tunred up and her pa turned up,
her auntie Gert, her rich uncle Bert,
the parson in the long white shirt turned up,
no bridegroom but the ring turned up,
then the telegraph boy with his nose turned up,
with a telegram that read, he didn't want to wed,
and they found him in the river with his toes turned up!!!

My e-mail is michael.mills3@virgin.net if anyone wants to contact me about this