I was working in a charity shop the year before last when an elderly lady came in and dropped a couple of books on the counter. One of them was a library book (of the very library of which I am a director!) with a "due back" date in 1943. I told her (mock-serious) that as this was a library book we couldn't accept it, and that she had better take it back to the library immediately, and ask them to be lenient with the fine. The poor dear became so flustered that I had to take pity and explain that I'd take care of it. It's now back in its original place on the shelf.

Don