Well, Bobert, it's like this: the commute to work would take me longer than it did when I lived in Ohio, and that was about an hour each way. Shucks, it'd be longer than if I still worked in Ohio!
But ya know, Spaw lives in Ohio (if you kin call that livin') and Tweed lives in someplace like Missabama. Either one of them could buy that house from ya and they could git to work in a lot less time that I could. So acting as agent for the SpawTweed Partnership, LLC, the STPLLC hereby offers you $450,000 and a Captain Midnight Video Decoder Ring for that stuff you're tryin' to dump IF AND ONLY IF it's all* got indoor plumbing.