Dedicated to the men and women of Lawrenceburg whose Mother's Day was ruined either by the catastrophic conflagration or the drunken aftermath.

T is for the toilets set ablazing
U is for my ulcerating gut
R is for the roaring river basin
K is for he kegs reduced to soot
E is for my everlasting horror
Y is for lost years of bourbon store
Put them all together they spell TURKEY
The Phoenix that will rise once more