At some point I made the jump from the offline desktop PC to the online desktop PC...but can I remember when?

Nope. I think it may have been in the mid-90s, but I'm not even quite sure about that.

I have never made the jump to cellphones or portable telephones.

I don't even know exactly what a "Blackberry" is (aside from the edible kind), and I don't care.

I have no Ipod in my possession and I never will.

I shrug in the face of all this stuff. I am not going to miss it any when I'm "gone".