If you're in the UK, on TV at the moment they are advertising one of those weekly 'build it week by week if we ever get around to publishing the last installment' magazines where you can acquire and build yourself a brass orrery - only they call it a "model of the solar system". That might help you explain your 'dark side of the moon' problems.

It'll only cost you £319 (about $650) over a year.

Re: those diagrams. I think 9.27 is how I put my back out in '84.

7.22 is impossible without lubrication and a penguin.

LTS