Listen, you scum-lickin', slug-lovin' lousy excuse for a human! The late "Shane" McBride was a gentleman; temperate, educated, and well-spoken. For you to pretend to be him is an insult to his memory and in earlier times could only be washed away with YOUR blood. You want that? I kin give it to you -- guns, knives, swords, fists, you name it. I kin drink more whiskey, beer OR water than any man alive. I once got thirsty and tipped up the Snake River, before I was done I'd drunk the Snake and the Columbia dry and was working on the Pacific Ocean. I drank up the liquor AND beer in every tavern, bar, gin mill or private home from Halifax, Nova Scotia to San Diego, California and back to Portland, Maine with a side trip up to Yellowknife. I've bit off enough ears to string a necklace from St. Louie to Frisco and back agin, with the eyes I've gouged out set between 'em. Beautiful women throw themselves at me, panting with lust, and when I'm done with 'em they're just dried up shells of their former selves, but oh! so very happy.

Now, if you keep up the lyin' that you're "Shane" McBride I'm gonna come up there and shove you down your own throat and keep shovin' until you disappear like a cowflop in a rainstorm.

YOU HEAR ME, MAGGOT???