...A pirate who had been taken captive gave [Alexander the Great] a neat and truthful answer. When Alexander asked what it was that impelled him to make the sea unsafe, he replied "That which caused you to do the same on land; but whereas I do it with one ship I am called a pirate; you, because you do it with a large fleet, are called an emperor.... As a matter of right there is no difference between us except that he is the worse who is the more ruthless in plundering, the more contemptible in disregarding justice, and the more brazen in disregard for laws. These I flee, but you wage wars against them; I have a degree of respect for them; you flout them. It is bad luck and financial difficulties that have made me a thief; it is intolerable pride and insensate greed that have made the same of you. Should fortune smile perhaps I would become a better man, but with you the more fortunate you are, the worse you will become!"
Alexander marveled at the moral courage of the man.... "I'll make an experiment" he told him "and see whether you will be a better man. I shall change your luck...." So he had him enrolled in his service, that he might thereafter lead a soldier's life without transgressing the laws. -- Policraticus, retelling Cicero

I wouldn't mind being a pirate if it gave me the chance to make a speech like that one.