So do we, McGrath. Apparently the stick thingio is called a playboy.

I don't know why, but I'll lay seven to two that a 'Catter does.

Watch this space.

I am minded of the bog wall grafitto :

When you use this marble hall
Use the paper, not the wall.
It really is a dirty trick
To wipe your arse on half a brick.

Aren't corn cobs somewhat abrasive on the piles (haemorrhoids) ?