Well, here's my best shot at a translation for ya:

"I know a man who is so lazy that he sleeps in his clothes, wears a beard, and does not smoke because of the trouble of (straigeing a meaits). It is so long since he did an honest day's work that he thinks "manual labour" is the name of a Portugese auditor.

I didn't get all of it, as you can see -- Would "straigeing a meaits" be something about "bumming one of his mate's" cigs, perhaps? But I agree with McGrath, it is pretty funny!

-- Áine