My Mother was too much of a lady to say such things, but, some of the more common ones were,
You look like you chased a fart through a keg of nails.
"       "   "   " were dipped in shit and shot for stinking.
"       "       "    " rode hard and put away wet.


More recently, one of my nephews came in dressed as the young ones do these days, and I said to him "Oh, did the Clampetts have a yard sale"?

I used to tease Rebecca about her garb...
"You look like you dressed inside a Goodwill collection box in the dark."