The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #21672   Message #231803
Posted By: wysiwyg
22-May-00 - 11:30 AM
Thread Name: BS: Shaking Death
Subject: RE: BS: Shaking Death
The best healing tears come when good news is used as a lever to shift the pent-up grief. For example, if you can find something your friend would have truly loved, and spend some time doing or refelcting upon that thing while thinking how much you loved this friend, you might fid a torrent of cleansing that would not hurt at all as it flows out of you.

We have natrual healing porocesses like this for every bad thing that ever happens. They work better with the loving attention of someone close to us. When we allows these natural processes to occur, we powerfully reclaim our fully flexible, loving, and intelligent humanness. Unfortunately, we live in societies who interpret these processes as hurts, themselves, or as inappropriate. (See www.rc.org) And so we internalize a shut-off switch that turns these processes more inwardly, and it can take awhile before the feelings surface through the layers of inhibition.

I don't give advice often, but here I have a wealth of deep personal expereince and a sure sense that this is important to you. So-- Listen to your grief and honor it. A good friend is worth grieving well.

~Susan~