Don't Play 'The Band Played Waltzing Matilda'

When I was a young man I played the guitar
And I led the free life of a rover
From the Murray's green basin to each dusty folk bar
I waltzed my old Martin all over

But at each bar I played in the people said, "Son!
We do like your playing" but when I was done
They'd leap on the stage, shouting, "Now, I'll give you one!"
And this was the song that they sang.

"The Band Played 'Waltzing Matilda'
And the audience soon forgot me.
So 'midst all the tears, the flag waving and beers
I went out to the loo for a pee.

How well I remember that terrible day
And how my blood boiled, like water.
For up to that time I'd been well on my way
To winning the publican's daughter

Johnnie Turk, he was there and he sang the song well,
I rained him with insults, but 'truth is to tell
I wished Eric Bogle had gone straight to hell
And never had come to Australia

And the band played 'Waltzing Matilda'
And the audience joined in the refrain
So when Johnnie Turk had finished, the berk
Went on and sang it again.