Well, if there is a reward for virtues for them that gottem, I got a whole trainload of reward coming! My (ahem) song (please note that it has been cleansed of gender-specificity):

MOAB dear! MOAB dear!
From far-off Idaho I heard your call.
And MOAB dear! MOAB dear!
And here am I to give my all.
I know in my soul what you expect of me,
And all that and more I shall be.

A child of dear old Mom should be invincible,
Suceed where a less fantastic person would fail.
Climb a wall no one else can climb,
Cleave a dragon in record time,
Swim a moat in a coat of heavy iron mail.
No matter the pain, s/he ought to be unwinceable,
Impossible deeds should be his/her daily fare.
But where in the world
Is there in the world
A person so *extraordinaire*?

C'est moi! C'est moi, I'm forced to admit.
'Tis I, I humbly reply.
That mortal who
These marvels can do,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.
I've never lost
In battle or game;
I'm simply the best by far.
When swords are crossed
'Tis always the same:
One blow and au revoir!
C'est moi! C'est moi! So adm'rably fit!
A Idahoan Prometheus unbound.
And here I stand, with valour untold,
Exeption'ly brave, amazingly bold,
To serve at the MOAB Round!

The soul of a MOAB child should be a thing remarkable,
His heart and her mind as pure as morning dew.
With a will and a self-restraint
That's the envy of ev'ry saint
S/He could easily work a miracle or two.
To love and desire s/he ought to be unsparkable,
The ways of the flesh should offer no allure.
But where in the world
Is there in the world
A person so untouched and pure?
(C'est moi!)

C'est moi! C'est moi, I blush to disclose.
I'm far too noble to lie.
That child in whom
These qualities bloom,
C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.
I've never strayed
From all I believe;
I'm blessed with an iron will.
Had I been made
The partner of Adam or Eve,
We'd be in Eden still.
C'est moi! C'est moi! The angels have chose
To fight their battles below,
And here I stand, as pure as a pray'r,
Incredibly clean, with virtue to spare,
The godliest person I know!
C'est moi!