FICTIONAL GODS, DEMONS Here's to those who copy Conan We will sing of Foul the Render, Here's to those who copy Conan Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender They're just Followers of Onan In his cave in Kiril Threndor-- And that's good enough for me! They're both too much for me! There are followers of Conan. Of Lord Shardik you must beware; And you'll never hear 'em groanin' To please him you must swear; Followed Crom up to his throne(in) 'Cause enraged he's a real Bear, And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! St. Waldo is a were Ethyl is the female part Call on him if you dare Of Sativa's holy art He may come on as a bear Drink her if you've got the heart And he's good enough for me! For a holy man to be! Azahoth is in his Chaos We will sing of Iluvatur, Azahoth is in his Chaos Who sent the Valar 'cross the water Now if only he don't sway us To lead Morgoth to the slaughter That is good enough for me! And that's just fine with me! We will worship Holy Ford We will sing the Jug of Issek, Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord And of Fafhrd his chief mystic, But the Alphas might get bored Though to thieving Mouser will stick, A Brave New World for you and me! And that's good enough for me! Let us note the might of Ils We'll invoke the blessed Camber With a thousand or more quills And the Unicorn of Amber By the light that from him spills And the wizard Deliamber He is good enough for me! They're good enough for me! The late return of the Prophet Zarquoh quon We will praise the gods of Hagar Caused his followers to hearken At a sort of Nordic seder As the Universe went dark on Buy the sacraments from Zabar All of you and me! And that's good enough for me! Oh the Trekkies worship Spock "Necronomicon?" I'll buy one! To the movies they will flock "Liber Eibon" I'll rely on Girls as baldy as a crock And "The Protocols of Zion" That's not good enough for me! They're all good enough for me! We'll pay homage to Godzilla We will worship Paul Atreides In the Oriental thrilla Tho he sort of lost his sight he He went and stomped the whole megillah llah Got a son that's rather mighty And he's good enough for me! And a Sandworm now is he! Donal Graeme is part Maran It was good for Bilbo Baggins And the Com'yn all use "laran" It was good for Bilbo Baggins Why the hell am I still Terran? Treasure sometimes comes with Dragons But it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! Michael Valentine is grokking Roger Elwood got religion Clothing usage he is stopping No more sex in Science Fiction Thou art God the phrase he's dropp ing Claims we've all got drug addiction And I'm good enough for me! He ain't good enough for me! There may be reincarnation The "Necronomicon's" still leadin' There may be reincarnation All the others its exceedin' Let us hope we keep our station Just don't move your lips while readin' and be born again as fen! 'Cause that isn't good for -you-! You may marching with your Cross go o There are Frogs out in the Abyss You may marching with your Cross go o Armed with athame and labrys I will worship Ghu and Roscoe They are green and rather scabrous 'Cause they're good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! I won't worship ol' Dormammu Let's not worship old Galactus To that fire-head I'll say "Damn you!, He's more nasty than a cactus I will worship whales named Shamu Eating worlds takes lots of practice Or the Chicken of the Sea! He's too scary for me! I won't worship ol' Bill Cosby We've all heard of Illuminati Tho he's funnier than Fozzie We've all heard of Illuminati He is smiling just because he Their security's kinda spotty Makes much money on TV! It's a conspiracy for me! Robert Wilson keeps on bookin' We will light up to Sativa For his titles I keep lookin' I've got toke-weed up my sleeve, a He always knows what's cookin' Trick I learned in the Yeshiva But don't take him seriously! And that's good enough for me! St. Blooper's rather clumsy St. Frieda's quite a mama If he hits you, you'll feel numsy She can pinch you thru your armor But he's got a sense of whimsy F*** her to increase your karma And I -like- the S.O.B.! She's more than enough for three! St. Hermann's got a bong St. Gerald's quite a fellow If you sniff you'll be high long Don't you dare to call him yelow It'll make your eyes ping-pong For he will make you bellow His dope's good enough for me! So he's good enough for me! Sativa is no peon He's the head of our pantheon Better him than snorting freon Cause that'll play hell with your nasal passages man Where'd you get this dope anyway? I mean Far-r-r-r-r farking out! Let us shout to the Goddess Lum Let us huumm for the Great Pumpkin Let us shout to the Goddess Lum Hum hm huumm hum hum huumm humhumn From another world she's come From the pumpkin patch he's comin' And shes good for An-a-me! And it's good enough for me! Let us question Deep Thought too Let us praise the Babel Fish Let us question Deep Thought too Let us praise the Babel Fish 'Cause the answer's Forty-Two! For it made God but a wish And it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! Let us look for the Invisible Man We will worship great Godzilla Let us look for the Invisible Man Or King Kong, that big gorilla And see him if we can If ya don't, then they will kill ya And he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! It was good for Uncle Fester Say hosannas to "Bob" Dobbs Though he's really quite a jester With space aliens he hobnobs And a perfect light bulb tester He's the patron saint of slobs And that's good enough for me And that's good enough for me! We've decided you are naughty, If you're not of Landru's body, Though his robes get kind of shoddy They're good enough for me! THE FORCE It was good for old Darth Vader For we are the Knights of Jeddi It was good for old Darth Vader And in us the Force is reddi He'll be back a little later Grab your sabres, throw confetti And he's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will even worship Yoda Let us all use the Force Who is small as an iota Let us all use the Force But fulfills his Jedi quota And stay on the proper course Which is good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! If the Force makes you a hater We will worship like the Wookie Tall and black like ol' Darth Vader r 'Cause he gets a lot of nookie And not recalled by Ralph Nader Thinks the DeathStar's just a cookie Then you're good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! HINDU There are some that call it folly We will go to worship Kali When we worship Mother Kali. Though embracing her is folly She may not be very jolly She'd be quite an armful, golly! But she's good enough for me! And she's good enough for me! As the goddess Kali dances I will wait till four-armed Kali With her worshippers in trances Drags me thru that lonesome valley You can learn some Hindu stances She's disgusting act-u-all-y And that's good enough for me! But She's good enough for me! So you want's to be a Deva We will sacrifice to Shiva A real Bodhisavatta We will sacrifice to Shiva A -really- Old Believe-a If you are a True Believe-a And that's good enough for me! Then you're good enough for me! Just like Swami Sachenanda We will worship Jargonatha Just like Swami Sachenanda But altho we risk his wrath-a Hold your breath and throw a tantra a There won't none stand in his path-a And you're good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We'll all study the Vedanta We will all practice Tantra We'll all study the Vedanta Groans and grunts will be our mantra It's no good for sharks and mantas There is nothing that you can't-ra But it's good enough for me! So it's sex enough for me! We will go and worship Brahma We will sacrifice to Kali Like a Saddhu or a Llama Tho her Thugs don't act too pally Clad in less than a pyjama When you meet them in an alley And that's good enough for me! She's still good enough for me! We will read the Kama Sutra If you want to worship Shiva The positions are quite "outre" Throw some flower in the river But as long as you're not "neutre" But if Shiva will deliver Then it's good enough for me! then that's good enough for me! You can sacrifice to Kali We will go and worship Shiva Even if you're no Bengali While we're bathing in the river Just by mugging in an alley It's so cold it makes me shiver And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will all go worship Rama Kali has her vengance brewin' Who created quite a drama Against all the evil-doin' When he rescued his sweet mama It was she shot J. R. Ewing! And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! If a damsel wears a sari Let us take time out to dally Krishna's arts can make her tarry With the Priestesses of Kali Some folks say that he's too hairy They need petting to get pally But he's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! ISLAMIC We will all bow down to Allah All the warriors for Allah For he gave his loyal follow- Are sure to have a gala (cENSORED) Party time in old Valhalla And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Let us listen to the Prophet We will all recite the Koran Let us listen to the Prophet We will all recite the Koran Gets more tail than Andy Offut Scots can stick it in their sporran And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! Oh the Muslims worship Allah We will guzzle RC Cola And obey the Ayatollah When we join the Ayatollah And they can't drink alcohol-a 'Cause he ain't no Holy Rollah That's not good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! JEWISH If you think that you'll be sav-ed Some guys have a circumcision If you think that you'll be sav-ed On account of their religion, If you follow Mogen David An embarrassing incision Then that's good enough for me! Cut just ENOUGH from me! Let us worship old Jehovah Let us celebrate Jehovah All you other gods move ovah Who created us "ab ova" Cause the one God's takin' over He'll be on tonight on "Nova" And it's good enough for me! 'Cause he's good enough for me! Oh the Jews prefer Jehovah You can worship God Adonai But their life is not all clover Be allowed few things to enjoy 'Cause they're hung with rules all over I'd much rather be just a goy But that's good enough for me! More comfortable for me! We will observe Tu b'Shevat We will all observe the Pesach Its a Jewish holiday that And try not to get Tay-Sachs Sounds Druidic - but don't say that For God the waters unlocked Or the J.A.P.s will come for me! When He set our people free! KABBALLA We will read from the Kabahlah We will read from the Cabala. We will read from the Kabahlah Quote the Tree of Life mandala It won't get us to Valhalla It won't get you in Valhalla, But it's good enough for me! Yet it's good enough for me! KRISHNA We will all sing Hare Krishna Hare Krishna gets a laugh on We will all sing Hare Krishna When he sees me dressed in saffron It's not mentioned in the Mishna With my hair that's only half on But it's good enough for me! But that's good enough for me! I was singing Hari Rama Hare Krishnas worship Rama With my friend the Dalai Lama With their tamborines and drum-as 'Til they dumped us in the slammer But their lifestyle is a bumm-a But that's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me! MIDDLE EASTERN PAGAN We will hoist a mighty flagon To Our Lady of Ephesians To the honor of ol' Dagon Who has taps for all secretions And we won't go on the wagon We will dance like Polynesians Which is good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! I'll sing some songs to Lilith, We will have a mighty orgy Not so young, and not so girlish, in the honour of Astarte and She's always PMS-ish, it'll be a mighty party but She's good enough for me! and it's good enough for me! Lilith wears a lacy nightie We will sing to Lady Isis And She is a little flighty She'll stand by us in a crisis She will get you all excite-y And She hasn't raised Her prices She's wet-dream enough for me! And She's good enough for me! We will all bow down to Dagon We will all bow down to Enlil A conservative old pagan We will all bow down to Enlil He still votes for Ronald Reagan Pass your Cup and get a refill! And that's good enough for me! With bold Gilgamesh the Brave! Let us worship sweet Eninni Oh the ancient goddess Nerthus Let us worship sweet Eninni From herself the Earth did birth us In a skimpy string bikini And I wonder: are we worth us? And that's good enough for me! But she's good enough for me! With Inanna don't try flirtin' She got eager for Dimuzi To your freedom she'll say "Curtain Said she'd meet him up by Nuzi 'Cause she finds it most impertin- Now he's taking quite a snooze, he Ent tosay "She don't suit me!" Might revive next century! We will go to worship Lillith Well Dimuzi's on vacation Grab your cup, step up and fill it He'll be back when spring awakens Tho 'ware she don't make you spill it it! There will be such recreation And that's good enough for me! There will be enough for me! Oh the Phillistines abound We will all bow down to Moloch Oh the Phillistines abound We will all bow down to Moloch They had the biggest Baals around 'Cause his Pope is not a Polack And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! If you want to save your soul, ac- I'll let Moloch light my fire CENSORED Of his worship I won't tire You must sacrifice a Polack Cheapest baby-sitter's hire.... And that's good enough for me! And that's cheap enough for me! We will bow down to Astarte We will go and weep for Tammuz And we'll have a great big party And we'll laugh at Springtime's promise And your welcome will be hearty And a few then will be mommas And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me! We will bow down to the Goddess When we gather with Astarte As She wears Her Cretan bodice It will be a lovely party And the women cry "Come prod us!" And the lovin' will be hearty And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! We will all go worship Rimmon We will go and worship Baal All us Pagan men and women For he is the Lord of All And our goblets will be brimmin' In the fields and in the hall And that's good enough for me! He is good enough for me! Let's go for temple prostitution We will build Baal up an altar It's an ancient institution In our duty we'll not falter That provides a quick solution And we'll drink our barley malt-er For horniness in you and me! And that's drunk enough for me! Erishkigal was a vixen But when Nergal got her mixin' Socially, she soon was fixin' His connubiality! MITHRAISM We will sing a song of Mithras We will all be saved by Mithras Let us sing a song of Mithras We will all be saved by Mithras But there is no rhyme for Mithras! Slay the Bull and play the zithras Still he's good enough for me! On that Resurrection Day! MOONIES We will worship Sun Myung Moonie Oh the Moonies worship Moon Though we know he is a goonie (Not the Goddess but the goon) All our money he'll have soonly They'd eat his s*** without a spoon And that's good enough for me! And that's not good enough for me! Sun Moon's kids are kind of funny But they stick to him like honey He just wants their souls and money And it's good enough for him! MORMON (LDS) We will worship like the Mormons I will have a Mormon mammy And we'll be Masonic doormen Tho' her hands are kinda clammy Round the Temples we'll be swarmin' n' They believe in polygammy And that's good enough for me! And that's wives enough for me! Moroni's job is simple: We'll be reachin' thru the curtain Blowin' jazz from top the Temples With the women we'll be flirtin' Loud enough to pop your pimples! Secret handshakes, we are certain And that's good enough for me! Will be good for you and me! We will worship with the Mormons Cause they're not like Martin Bormann Into gods they'll be re-bornin' And that's good enough for me! NEW AGE Oh, our Spirits will awaken Well I'm tired of Ronald Reagan, Oh, our Spirits will awaken He's too square to be a pagan, Watch the Universe a-quakin' Let's all vote for Carl Sagan! Which is Gurdijeff to me! He's good enough for me! Timmy Leary we will sing to I'll arise at early mornin' And the things that he was into When the Sun gives me the warnin' (Well, at least it wasn't Shinto) That the Solar Age is dawnin' And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! In the sky I hear a hummin' Just like Carlos Castenada It's the UFO's a-comin' Just like Carlos Castenada That's not banjos that they're str ummin It'll get you sooner or later But it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! NEW AGE CHORUS: Gimmie that New Aeon Religion Gimmie that New Aeon Religion Gimmie that New Aeon Religion Where everyone's a star NEW WORLD PAGAN Let us pray to the Great Spirit Let us pray to the Great Spirit Let us pray to the Great Spirit Let us pray to the Great Spirit Like the Eagle he will hear us Like the Thunderbird He'll hear us And it's good enough for me! And It's good enough for me! Let us join the Earth Spirits Let us journey like the Shaman Let us join the Earth Spirits Let us journey like the Shaman With the Earth they will heal us To the next de-men-shan And its good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! Thanks to great Quetzacoatl Some folks pray to the Great Spirit And his sacred axolotl Most folks just cannot get near it And his gift of chocolatl So they hate it and they fear it And please pass some down to me! But it's good enough for me! Praise to Popacatapetl Some folks worship the Kachinas Just a tiny cigarette'll Some folks worship the Kachinas Put him in terrific fettle They look like "deus ex machinas" So he's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! Now watch out for the Maya's, Montezuma liked to start out They might really try to fry ya, Rites by carrying a part out Sacrifice people, not papaya's, That would really tear your heart out, Just as long as its not me! But it's good enough for me! Quetzacoatl's flyin' And when old Quetzacoatl With the Toltec and the Mayan Found a virgin he could throttle And the mushrooms he's been buyin' And put her heart into a bottle Are good enough for me! It was good enough for me. We will worship Xochipilli We will worship Xipe-Totec Though it might be a bit silly Tho it is a little low-tech Running naked makes me chilly It is not a bit ero-tek (erotic) But it's good enough for me! But it's good enough for me! Oh, there's none like Huizlipochtli The Kachinas of the Hopi For destroyin' people tot'ly Dance about and some act dopey Best to worship -him- remotely! They don't leave you feelin' mopey But he's good enough for me! So they're good enough for me! I have gotten in the way-o When the blood it was a-surgin' Walkin' with the Monster Slayer Aztec priests wore skins of virgins He is worthy of a prayer Cause they had transvestite urgins And he's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me! Be the Great Spirit devotees We will worship like the Incas On the mesa smoke peyote Who were great heroic drinkas 'Til we think we're all Coyote Tho the Spanish called them stinkas And that's good enough for me! Still it's good enough for me! Come and worship Huehueteotl Let us sacrifice to Chac Mol Sit around and chew peyotl For rain just burn some copal What a way to get totalled! Hey! There's a flood out in the hall! And it's good enough for me! And it's wet enough for me! We will go to worship Inti We will dance unto the Sun Soon around us we will all see Pull weights stuck thru our buns Cocaine being snorted freely Yank 'em out at a dead run And that's stoned enough for me! And that's pain enough for me! We will worship with the Sioux We will all be Contrary Use the bushes for a loo Walk backwards, and we'll marry And scalp Gen'ral Custer too! A Sioux "winkte" (that's a fairy!) And that's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! NORTHERN EUROPEAN (GENERAL) We will praise the god Toutatis I was there when Lemminkainen When the Pagan frenzy's got us Crazed the winin' and the dinin' Till we strain our epiglottis And left poor old Louhi whinin' And that's good enough for me! Which was quite a sight to see! We will go and worship Veles There's the Russian god Yarilo All us Pagan gals and fellows As a love-god he's a thrill-o And we'll Czech out what he'll sel l us When he comes there is no chill-o And that's good enough for me! And he sounds a lot like me! We will bow down to Perkunas I remember Vainomoinen And we'll chant old Baltic 'runos' Chasing Winter on that mornin' Save the dolphins and the tunas As the Spring came finally dawnin' And that's good enough for me! And that was good enough for me! Then there's ol' Koschai the Deathless He will leave you a bit breathless Face him with steadfastness And it's good enough for me! OTHER LANGUAGES Nous nous appellons Druides, C'est peut-etre un peu stupide, Et vienon d'Atlantide. Mais c'est bon assez pour moi RASTAFARIANISM Jah will come to set us free here I be talkin' to da Great Jah Jah will come to set us free here With me dreadlocks and me ganja We won't see Him but He'll be here I be a Rastaman, ya! And that's good enough for us! And it's good enough for me! Let us mourn Haile Selassie As a Rasta Saint, he's passe But as Emperor, he's classy And that's good enough for me! SATANISM Oh the Satanists worship Satan There are those who worship Satan And behave so aggravatin' And are just anticipatin' I think they need castratin' Armageddon's conflagratin' And that's good enough for me! That ain't good enough for me! Asmodeus will excite us There are folks who get their hats in To an orgy he'll invite us They go out and pray to Satan He may have his High Priest bite us s On TV this gets a ratin' But that's good enough for me! And Geraldo says "Oh, GEE!" I would go and worship Satan I will kill an old black rooster If I could memorize verbatim Show that I'm a Satan booster Cause with him there ain't no fakin in' He's not drawing like he uster And that kinda frightens me! But he's good enough for me! We will all go to the Black Mass We will follow Satanism And kiss the goat on his ass And use a disgusting chrysm Tho you think it hasn't much class Made of blood and old stale jism Still it's good enough for me! And that's pretty gross for me! It was good enough for Satan Then there's Michael Aquino Whom the Christians are all hatin' Thinks that Set is really keen-o But the Beast they are awaitin' (Satan moved to Argentine-o And that's good enough for me After World War Two, you see....) JUST PLAIN GRATUITOUS SEX I got a new diversion Gimme that real old-time religion It's a new kind of perversion! Where sex ain't doled out in smidgens I gotta ask: Are you a virgin? And we don't sacrifice no pigeons 'Cause that's good enough for me! It's good enough for me You are very, very pretty Let's forget those moral urges As you sing this little ditty Get your spurs and chains and scourges I like little ditties.... And accentuate your urges And I like big ditties too...!!! So come and play with us! At the Festival of Milcom Ancient British music is such Let the women on the Pill come Put the BBC well in dutch And then everybody will come! Just because that it was too much And that's good enough for me! Saxon violins for TV! SCIENTOLOGY L. Ron Hubbard liked precision In matters Dianetic And he founded a religion You need not get frenetic That has caught a lot of pigeons Make your Engrams copacetic And it's good enough for me! And that's good enough for me! SHINTO There are some who practice Shinto I don't really go for Shinto There are some who practice Shinto It's just something I'm not into There's no telling what WE'RE into ! Tho I guess I could begin to but that's good enough for me! 'Cause it's good enough for me! In Japan they thought it neato Well the Japanese use Shinto When they worshipped Hirohito There's no telling what they're into But that didn't sit with SEATO It helps them outsell the Pinto So it never more will be! And that's good enough for me! Ameratsu brought the light in We will venerate the Kami And love's bonds began to tighten Tho they don't wear no pyjommies The whole world began to brighten And they ain't got any Mommies And that's good enough for me! But they're good enough for me! THELEMA Uncle Crowley was a dreamer When the clouds they are a-rumbling At the Abbey of Thelemer And the thunder is a-grumbling But his magic is a screamer, Then it's Crowley that you're mumbling So it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! There are those who follow Crowley Let us call an Elemental Tho the stuff that he held holy For a temporary rental Turn your your brain to guacamole Just as long as it is gentle But he's good enough for me! It is good enough for me! It was good enough for Crowley The Thelemites worship Crowley With his sacraments unholy While he's roasting very slowly Who smoked pot and ate some moly 'Cause they think he's so damn holy And it's good enough for me! He don't do a thing for me! It's no good for Jerry Falwell Magick's language is so queer And he don't think we're at all well Causes Crowley to appear But the Great Rite's when we ball well And to stick it in your ... ear! And that's good enough for me! That's not good enough for me! Let us not forget St. Crowley There are those who worship Crowley For he's humble, meek and holy 'Cause they say he rhymes with "holy" Kind and jolly, roly-poly, What I say is "Holy Moley!" And that's good enough for me! "Perfect love, and ninety-three!" When the wind is turnin' howly Ninety-three and forty-leven And the thunder's gettin' growly Sixty-nine and eighty-seven Then you know you're workin' Crowley Crowley won't get you to Heaven And he's good enough for me! Ain't no good for you and me! VOODOO There are people into voodoo There are people into Voodoo Africa has raised a hoodoo With a mojo and a hoodoo Just one little doll will do you I know I do, I hope you do! And it's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! If you're really into dancing We will all go worship Shango And you wanna try some trancing Who will make the thunder bang-o Then the Voodoo gods are prancing End the drought down in Durango And that's good enough for me! Which is good enough for me!