No - I can't let that go without comment. You are talking about people raised to fit in - not raised to be good. If you raise someone to be good. You teach modesty but praise achievement, you encourage freethought but get them to consider people feelings and put arguments carefully and with due consideration ( this is a bit of hard concept for teenagers who tend to see in balck and white). You encourage rounded open relationships as much as possible. This does not conflict with encouraging them not to push themselves in front of others and being considerate to others even if they are not being considerate to you. In most cases you may miss a couple of opportunities by not having the loudest voice shouting ME ME ME but do you really want them if that is how it is decided.

Julie