A friend of mine once said there's really only one English folk song: "One morning in the month of May, I went out and met a charming maid. We had sex, then I dumped her. The end."

This is, of course, far from the truth. Further research has established that there are two English folk songs, the other one being: "One morning in the month of May, I went out and met a charming man. We had sex, then he dumped me. I'm pregnant and my life is ruined. The end."

Here's the question: how do the other traditions compare? Picture the scene: it's one morning in the month of May; you are the Scots/Irish/Appalachian/Australian/etc tradition. What did you do next?