The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #21785   Message #233238
Posted By: Peter T.
24-May-00 - 03:01 PM
Thread Name: The Linda MaCartney Story??
Subject: RE: The Linda MaCartney Story??
PAUL MCCARTNEY: A DIFFERENT VIEW

PART VII

(The scene opens in the palatial McCartney manor on the isolated British parcel of land he owns, called Lancashire. Martha (played by Jane Seymour) is brushing her hair, and growling:

RRRRFF, RFFFFF, RRRFFFFF!!<

Linda McCartney (played by Diana, Princess of Wales) enters:"Martha, what are you trying to tell us?"

In the other room, Paul McCartney (played by Lassie) is finishing work on another Wings album he started ten minutes earlier.

Linda calls to him: "Paul,darling, I think Martha is saying, Push, Push, Push. What do you think it means?"

Paul says: "It either means she thinks she is still on Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, or she is trying to tell me to hurry up and get this album out before something terrible happens, like I think of some words to these songs besides ladalalalalallala. Silly old pooch!"

Linda looks down at Martha, who is nosing dog bits around in her dinner dish (played effectively and very rigidly by Hugh Grant).

Linda speaks again (but not before coughing slightly in a way that will become ominous 10 years later): "Paul, I think she is trying to spell out something in her dog food."

Paul comes in, carrying suitcases. Paul speaks: "Don't be ridiculous, luv, what could she possibly have to tell us? Now, hurry up, we'll miss that plane to Japan."

Linda and Paul leave the room. Martha looks down at the elaborate message in the dog food:

BEWARE, YOKO HAS STUFFED POT INTO YOUR SUITCASE!"

Martha whines. Hugh smiles his roguish smile. We break for a dogfood commercial.

coming up: PART VIII: JOHN MAKES AN EVEN WORSE ALBUM!!!