Naw...these poor little guys had their knicknacks removed at an early age. They don't get erections, and they don't even know what they're missing...but they attempt to fill the void with food.

John, the ramp will bear MY weight, and I weigh considerably more than those dachshunds do. Trust me, the little canine idiots are on autopilot, that's all. They WILL NOT do anything differently than they have done it in the past. Like I said, they are very conservative. Solid rock between the floppy ears.