"False construct" Ruth?...if not at my local, I can still get a stottie and find a chippie for it's stuffing; I can and do get a glass of mead at a nearby pub; with a bit of imagination, you should be able to picture a willow "licking" the river's flow; swans can be on the river when it's snowing in England; and there are still some English clog-dancers about...
Music hall songs are, again, very different from what most now understand pop to be - so yours is the "false construct"...and why are you so heavily against the idea of English culture in England?...don't you, like me, love our world being multicultural?