Ah yes!

jack warner in Dixon of Dock green
Hatti Jaques in Carry On Matron
Jimmy Edwards in Whacko!

Actually its a time machine we need.

Len Hutton could beat the aussies, Stanley Matthews could piss rings round Renaldo, Anthony Eden could retake the Suez canal and keep the Jews and the Arabs part and the Yanks would back us up this time.

Sadly even if labour accomplished all these miracles, Gordon would still have all the personal magnetism of a slug.