Some really awful (read:great) jokes on this thread. I can't remember jokes to save my ass for some reason. Maybe if I had a reason to save my ass I'd remember more. Anyway, thanks for the laughs and the groans. Here's a groaner...one of the few I can remember.........

After 25 years on the same route, the postman is retiring and today will be his last deliveries. The folks on his route had decided to do something nice for him, but couldn't think of anything and decided it best to let each resident decide for themselves. The letter carrier arrives at the first house and the old lady tells him what a friend he's been over the years and how much she has appreciated his happiness when she received letters from her son and his empathy when she received bad news too. She gave him a beautiful card with a hundred dollar bill inside. The postman was embarrassed and could only stammer his thanks.

At the next house, a similar scene ensued with the couple who lived there giving him a trip to Jamaica for him and his wife. Again the postman was completely taken aback. The next home brought him an expensive watch while others had gift certificates, more money, and other expensive gifts. As he approached the last house, occupied by a young couple who had only recently moved to the neighborhood, he was weighed down as he had never been with the mail. He took the two letters and put them in this last mailbox for the last time and turned to go. Suddenly the door opened and the beautiful young wife wearing a sheer negligee called to him. He turned with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide. She asked him to come in and put down his bag. He tried to explain that he couldn't do that, but the lovely young woman insisted. He finally complied. As soon as he put his bag down, she grabbed him by the hand and took him into the bedroom where she proceeded to give him the greatest fuck he'd ever had. He dressed and walked back to the living room, but the naked young lass followed him and said, "NO-NO-NO....You can't leave yet. Come into the kitchen and have some coffee." The postman told her he really didn't want any, but again, she insisted. Sitting at the table with the coffee in front of him, the still nude woman suddenly said, "HEY...How about a piece of cake?" He'd given up arguing with her so he said thanks as she placed the slice in front of him. When he had finished, they walked to the door and he picked up his bag. But before he could leave, he HAD to ask and said, "Ya' know everyone has given me wonderful things today...Money, watches, trips, jewelery, gift certificates,..all kinds of glorious things, but NO ONE did ANYTHING like you did......and I have to ask you about it.......I mean, like, uh.....why did, er, uh.......ummmm...." He couldn't think of any more words. She said simply, "Oh...That?....Well, my husband and I discussed it last night and it was kinda' HIS decision."

"WHAT?" asked the postman. "You mean he gave his permission for this?" He was startled to say the least. "Oh sure, " she said. "Last night I asked him what we should give you today and he said, 'Fuck him! Give him a cup of coffee.'..........Now the cake was my idea!"

Spaw