Ol' Doc Magoffin went into the Legion Hovel last night and ordered a drink -- his usual, a daquari. He consumed it in record time and asked for another. "This one should be a different daquari," he said Lazy Lax, who was keeping the bar last night. He's called Lazy Lax because that's short for Laxative, which is his first name -- his whole name is Laxative Easily Goes Smith. He was named by his father, who got the name on the birth register before his mother could object and since he's not much good for anything except bartending he got the nickname "Lazy Lax."

He can't saw a cord of wood or even drive a nail to save his soul, but he's a natural bartender. He can whip up any drink called for without looking it up. Once I asked for a Sazerac and he replied, "Cain't. Ain't got the right bitters fer it." Anyway, he turned from Ol' Doc Magoffin and whipped up a drink, turned and set it in from of the Doc. There was something in the bottom and a chopstick sticking out.

"What," asked the Doc, "in the hell is THAT?"

Without missing a beat Lazy Lax replied, "Why, that's a hickory daquari, Doc."