So, any way, there I was , a callow youth from Birmingham, ariving back at University in C******. Rucsac on back and a suitcase in each hand, walking to my digs in a rough neighbourhood some way from from the station. Saw local lass crying.
"Ey Up ower kid.What's the matter?" asked the would-be Galahad.
"I'm frightened to go down that dark road in case I get assaulted by a strange man." she says.
"Never fear" replied the young gallant, "you can walk with me."
Half way down the dark lane she started blarting** again.
"Now what's the matter?"
"I've just realised you're a strange* man." she replied.
Says I, exasperated,"How could I assault you, I've a suitcase in each hand."
"Well," she replies, shyly, "I could hold one of those for you."
*but not as strange as he was to become!
**crying
RtS (Frankie Howerd told it better, but I do the accents!)