Finally! Finally I get to hear a voice of reason from Big Harry Bongnetz, a pillar of the local primate community in Chicago. Of COURSE I didn't mean any of them things I said seriously. I mean, geez, how could anyone think so? Un-frikkin'-believable! Why, many of my best pals are gorillas. Anyone knows that. I been a friend to gorillas ever since I landed on the shores of this great country back in the 20's and I ain't never changed on that. No sir. King Kong is almost like a deity to me, and gorillas are my blood brothers. We stand together in solidarity for the rights of all primates, large and small, irregardless of creed or color or hairstyle.

As fer them allegations about Miss Floozy Lemar, that don't even deserve comment. I am disgusted by them allegations, and the tiny minds behind them should crawl back in the hole they all crawled out of.

None of this stuff is gonna stick to me because it ain't true. It's just a bunch of scurrilous slander, that's what it is. Them that know me best ain't fooled by this kind of crass disinformation.

- Chongo