Rick that was brilliant. I've been trying to track down my friend Iain MacLeod for the last 10 minutes he'll cry when he hears it. Steve I still have tears coming down my cheeks. I had to leave the office a couple of my co-workers thought I had received bad news from home until I explained. Anyway here is my humble contribution.

Two old couples are in the pub having a chat. One old fella says to the other, "tell me Paddy how is the memory these days." "Oh its grand" says Paddy. "I went to a clinic last week and they taught me all manner of things to help me remember, like word association," he says, "it works like a charm." "What was the name of the clinic?" says his friend, Paddy pauses for a minute and then says, "whats the name of that flower with the thorny stem." "Rose", says his pal. "Thats it", says Paddy turning to the wife, "hey Rose what was the name of that clinic I was at last week."

One more. The Pope and Ian Paisley are travelling in a train with a beautiful young woman sitting between them. The train goes into a tunnel and there is a kissing sound and then a loud slap. When it emerges from the tunnel the Pope is holding his face and thinks to himself, "that bastard Paisley must have kissed that young woman and she thought it was me." The young woman thinks, "the pope must have kissed Paisley thinking it was me". And Paisley thinks, "I'm going to wait untill the train goes into another tunnel, make a loud kissing noise and smack the Pope up the side of the head again. Den