The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #109383   Message #2344329
Posted By: The Fooles Troupe
19-May-08 - 09:34 AM
Thread Name: BS: 3rd Joke thread of 2008!
Subject: RE: BS: 3rd Joke thread of 2008!
Country Wisdom:

Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

Keep skunks and lawyers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.
Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles. (Males this is for you Especially)


Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful.


Teachers, Moms, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.
Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.
Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat.
Don't corner something meaner than you.
You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.
Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers
or weeds.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.

You can't unsay a cruel thing.
Every path has some puddles.


Don't wrestle with pigs: You'll get all muddy and the pigs will love it.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.


The Ten Commandments display was removed from the Alabama Supreme Court building. There was a good reason for the move. You can't post "Thou Shalt Not Steal, Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery and Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers and politicians Without creating a hostile work environment.