I've been talking to my good friend, Ahmadinejad, BB. He says you are becoming a real annoyance with all your fear-mongering threads about Iran all the time. They have made up a list of the 10 most annoying people on the face of the Earth right now...people who really need to be dealt with severely...and you are on that list. Yessiree. ;-) Your name is fourth on that list! Do you realize what this means? The deadly power of the Iranian regime, soon to threaten the life of every human being in the entire world, is turning its attention to YOU! Yes, Bearded Bruce, you are scheduled to be "dealt with" right after Woody Allen, O.J.Simpson, and Paris Hilton (they're just ahead of you on Ahmadinejad's list of "absolutely intolerable people who cannot be permitted to continue annoying Iran and the world in general").

So, here's my advice. Watch carefully in the news for what's going on with Woody Allen, O.J.Simpson, and Paris Hilton. As long as they are still okay, you're still okay. But the moment they're gone....! That will be the moment, BB, that the devilish and altogether inhuman and just awfully, awfully nasty powers of the Iranian regime will be reaching out across the Atlantic Ocean to get YOU!!!!!

And Canada will not risk itself trying to help you, either.

I'd lie low for awhile till this whole thing blows over if I were you. ;-)