ODD MAN OUT
©1998 Lou & Peter Berryman. Words by Peter, Music by Lou.

1. If your lover won't come over, and when you call, they're 'bout as warm as an ice cube,
And your deck of cards is lost, and it's raining, and there's nothing good on the boob tube,
Here's a game you play alone and you never have to leave the warmth of your armchair.
It's your job to try and figure out which word in each grouping doesn't belong there:

2. Harpo, Ringo, Zorro, Julio, Zeppo, Chico, stucco, Mario, Groucho.
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Pet World, Uranus, Pluto.
One pair, two pair, mayonnaise, three of a kind, straight, flush, full house, four of a kind, straight flush.
Car theft, robbery, mugging, burglary, romance, hijack, arson, larceny, hairbrush.

3. Alpha, beta, gamma, epsilon, delta, zeta, theta, Dracula, sigma.
Aries, Virgo, Leo, Gemini, Cancer, Taurus, Nissan, Capricorn, Libra.
Monet, Manet, van Gogh, Salvador Dali, Sneezy, Cézanne, Delacroix, Renoir.
Earthquake, typhoon, mudslide, hurricane, romance, blizzard, firestorm, tidal wave, nut bar.

4. Sister, brother, father, son-in-law, uncle, cousin, nephew, double-u, daughter.
Whisky, vodka, champagne, crème de menthe, brandy, ouzo, Pernod, muscatel, water.
Southeast, northwest, northeast, north-by-northwest, due north, due east, Drew Barrymore, due south.
Headache, earache, heartburn, stomach flu, romance, toothache, sore throat, muscle ache, big mouth.

BRIDGE: Freon, neon, xenon, Oregon.
Cotton, rayon, Orlon, Alanon.
Phone ring, earring, gold ring, slobbering.
Hardees, Wendy's, rabies, Burger King.

5. Toaster, freezer, washer, opener, blender, mixer, anger, vegetable steamer.
Hipbone, heel bone, tailbone, fibula, cheekbone, jawbone, trombone, scapula, femur.
Desk lamp, flashlight, lantern, photoflood, headlight, dome light, night light, cellulite, sun lamp.
Puzzler, baffler, cipher, cryptogram, romance, riddle, mystery, question mark, off-ramp.
Puzzler, baffler, cipher, cryptogram, romance, riddle, mystery, question mark, off-ramp.

[First appeared on the CD "Some Kinda Funny" in 1998. Re-recorded for "Love Is The Weirdest of All" in 2004.]

[Click to play a recording.]