supposedly a true story:

Mark Twain's wife did her best to censor the more picturesque flights of her husband's language. One morning he cut himself shaving and cursed long and loud. When he stopped, his wife tried to shame him by repeating to him verbatim all the profanities that he had just uttered. Twain heard her out and then remarked, "You have the words, my dear, but I'm afraid you'll never master the tune"

my father did not swear very much...but he loved to tease us by shaking his head and saying very 'seriously'

"goddandruff and someofititches"