My uncle Elmer was a flippin' Epistopedalian Seventh Day Adventurist or some flippin' thing like that, but he could not flippin' even control his OWN mind, never mind them other minds of people around him!

He useta quote the Bible a lot, eh? One time he qwoted to me from it after I had got in trouble with the police and he said, "The only road for a sinner is the road that leads straight to the fiery lake of eternal torment!" and he shook his flippin' finger in my face.

I know he was lyin' becoz I have been down every flippin' road around here in Don's pickup and there ain't no such lake to be found, eh? If it was there I woulda found it by now.

I figger such a lake could be handy becoz, like, if you went fishin' there you cuold pull out a fish and it would already be cooked!

That would be pretty cool, eh? I would buy up such a lake and charge people to fish there and get flippin' RICH!

But there ain't no such lake coz my uncle was nuts.

- Shane