Judy Small's The Advertising Game and

Cholesterol
(Adam McNaughtan)

I've been takin' advice on right things to eat
Since shortly before I was born
Like the National dried milk and the cod liver oil
And powdered rhinoceros horn
Well, in those days they told us tae lay aff the starches
The sugars, potatoes and breid
Now they've done a U-turn, and they tell us these things
Will give us the fibre we need

Cholesterol, cholesterol
My chance of survival is small
But I'll no get a dosa anorexia nervosa
For I love my cholesterol

Well, I'm not going to take the advice that they make
About changin' the way I should eat
Like cuttin' oot cheese, and no chips if ye please
No chocolates, no ice cream, no English beef
Well they tell us to give up these goodies below
And they offer us pie in the sky
Ah, well semi-skimmed milk may diminish my bulk
But I'll take double cream till I die

Cholesterol, cholesterol
My chance of survival is small
For the cream I consume it could lead to my doom
For I love my cholesterol

Well I don't mind them probin' in my haemoglobin
If it's just for a case history
But it puts the Health Visitor into a tizz
It's her duty tae try and save me
She says fresh fruit and yogurt's a lovely dessert
Why don't you give it a try
Well I don't give a hoot for her yogurt and fruit
I'll take Black Forest gateau and die

Cholesterol, cholesterol
My chance of survival is small
For the way that I dine, I'm on course for angina
But I love my cholesterol

Cholesterol, cholesterol
My chance of survival is small
But I'll no get a dosa anorexia nervosa
For I love my cholesterol

might fit your requirements ;-)

Best wishes,

Bente