Now I'm rearranging the third verse and chorus to include Genie's clearer phrasing. I've messed up your refrain, George, and it may need adjustment. (I may yet tweak the last two lines of the chorus, but they would still keep a regular on-off-on off-on-off-on beat from now on.) I do like your melody!

Updated last verse:
Would you give up your pain and grief
For safety as a pressed dry leaf
Emotionless and brittle on a page?
A perfect bloom is one that's due
To die each year and bloom anew,
Returning year by year and age by age.

Chorus:
Leaves decay, and forests burn,
Mountains rise and crumble too.
Nothing's lost: each in our turn
Ever giving life anew.


Questions for all:

1) Title: Deciduous, Falling, or Fallen Lives? The first sounds obscure, the others sound like downers. (Leaves shed at the end of their season are called "deciduous," as opposed to "evergreen.")

2) What bits need effort to understand?

3) Does it work better with added syllables to make the rhythm completely regular as above?

4) Which is better at the beginning of the third verse: "I would not trade my..." or "Would you give up your" pain and grief/For safety as a pressed dry leaf?

Thanks,
Maureen