A nightmare with a silver lining.

In the dream, I have just committed an unspeakable act of major proportions, and I'm on the run-- mortified, more than half mad, and unable to recall just what I have done. I only know that my life as I know it is over, and that I have much to face. I have no idea what to do next, and I'm just wandering. I somehow take action to link up with some angel-people and turn myself over to them. They're so nice to me that I first think they must not know what I have done, but they break the news to me of what I have done (incredibly compassionately), and absorb my reaction. They agree I will have much to face, but focus on how strongly I have trusted my autopilot (to get myself to them) and how excellent that autopilot is. They've just given me acid to help me remember the act for myself, and assure me that they are going to help me. (The dream ends there.)

The dream was so strong that I seem never able to forget that lesson. I'm very grateful to have learned it in the dream instead of having acted out the dreamed actions in order to arrive at it....

This dream was years before our culture had learned about anything like school shootings, federal building bombings, or twin towers terrorism..... understand, I was very young and sheltered; Hitler and Hiroshima were my only models of mass cruelty at the time I dreamed it.

Each time I have heard of these later events in the news, one of my first thoughts has been gratitude for that dream. Because that dream showed me that we are all capable of thinking of the "unthinkable" (or dreaming it), but we also are capable of learning our lessons without acting out every angry thought that bubbles up.

I can look back on many, MANY times when that autopilot has carried me through terrible (recognized or unrecognized) challenges. And the model of compassion in the face of grim reality, shown to me by the angel-people, has remained with me, as well.

~Susan