Amergin,
For weeks after I lost my Mara Jade (calico cat) I would feel a cat jump up on my bed in the wee hours and I'd reach out to give a stroke, thinking it was Madmardigan and realizing there was nothing there. I would hear her at the other end of the apartment getting into something (this cat LOVED plastic of any kind) while Maddy was sitting on my lap. We'd both look that way expecting to see her walk around the corner.
Eventually the hurt isn't quite so raw. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have pets in my life. It hurts really badly when they leave you, but it's a trade off you make for years of unconditional love while they're here. I hope you change your mind in the future and decide to open your home and heart to another furball.