In he saunters, an American, dripping with guns: .45s, .38s, .32s, .44s, .357s, .22s, .36s, .17s, 9mms, 7.65mms, 7.62x39Rs, 7.62x54NATOs, .303s,, 5.56mms, .50s, a blunderbuss, two matchlocks, four wheellocks, a snaphance, a handgonne, a sixteen-pounder, a brass Napoleon, a Parrott rifle, five Krag-Jorgensons, a trapdoor Springfield, three copies of Beecher's Bible, and a whole lot of other crap.

"Excuse me," he politely says to the barman, "but would you have some place I can dump all this crap? It's okay, I never carry any ammunition. And I'd like some lemonade straight up."